Memories…like the corners of my mind

or something like that.

Anyways. Do you remember when you were a kid having to go to bed before the sun went down? I was sitting in Ryan’s room, feeding her, about 8 tonight, and her room was awash with that dusk-y glow (greenish, since her room’s bright green), listening to Michael talk with his buddies, and thinking back to when I was 8 or 9 years old.
My parents used to tuck us in while the sun was still out. I always thought that was so unfair. There was a corner of my bedroom window, where, if I sat just right, I could watch all the big kids still playing on the street. My window was always open (California, summer, no A/C) and I could hear them shreiking and screaming and I was so jealous. My mom and dad would always go and chat with the neighbors in the cul-de-sac and I would just watch them all hanging out and feel so left out. This all came flooding back to me last night and I thought, how can I make Ryan go to sleep right now? All the action is out in the other room. She wasn’t having it anyway. She was happy to eat, but had no mind to crash out. She wound up staying up until 10, just hanging out with mommy and the guys.
Today was just one of those beautiful, late spring/early summer days that brings back floods of memories for me. It’s the kind of weather I can remember growing up, and with the sunshine I can almost hear the shouts of kids on the streets, and feel the cool grass between my toes. I almost start itching as though I’d been playing in the pool and rolling on the lawn all day. I can only hope that Ryan will have memories like this to think back on someday. It’s still astonishing that I have the power to help her make these memories, and I have every intention of doing that.

Oh, and today is my half birthday. I’m 26 and a half. Ouch.


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