Silly girl

Ryan was supposed to be asleep in her crib (we’re trying it out) and we heard noises on the monitor. We don’t usually go in unless she’s crying or really fussing, but this went on for a while, so we thought we should go check to make sure she’s not breathing funny or something. We get in there and poke our heads over the end of the crib and Ryan has gotten one leg and one arm out of her swaddle, and is babbling to herself staring up at her new mobile! Then, she looks up at us and gives us the biggest grin and cracks up! It was truly the sweetest thing!!
And I’m still amazed, and was right after her birth, at just how much more I love Michael. I didn’t think it was possible, but after having Ryan, and seeing him with her, I truly love him more now than I did the day we were married.

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Bits and Pieces

2.6.2006
6 pounds, 12 ounces, 19 ¾ in…already beat her birthweight!

2.12.2006
Her first pictures at Picture People in Southcenter with Auntie Julie. She cried the whole time. Wore her little blue dress from Aunt Jody, looked adorable!

2.24.2006
Weighs 8 pounds, 8 ounces on the kitchen scale at home.

3.3.2006
Gets baby acne…ick.

3.6.2006
Her first real smile! Smiled at her elephant toy!

3.7.2006
Slept 5.5 hours tonight!, Smiled at Zoe! Weighs 9 pounds, 3 ounces.

3.10.2006
First real laughs!! While changing her diaper, of course. It’s easy to see why that’s amusing!

3.13.2006
Appt with Dr. Wittman. I had a “beautiful delivery”. I’m a stud.

3.16.2006
Slept 7 hours!! Woohoo!! It’ll probably never happen again! Plus, it was after a really colicky night and she was super fussy for about 4 hours. That’ll tire anyone out, I suppose.

Milk Drunk

I cannot get over how much I love this child. I truly think I’ve found what life is all about. When Ryan pulls off my boob, smiles her “milk drunk” smile, and dribbles milk out of the side of her mouth-I melt. She is already such an amazing tiny little person. I am so loving getting to know her.

Visit to Children’s Seattle

Dr. Stamm @ Childrens. Her first trip to Uvillage and Starbucks. Ryan is going to be fine, basically she has a valve that didn’t close all the way, and it’s something that about 50% of babies close on their own, and the other half it’s too small to really worry about. To be certain, we will have to take her back in 3 months for another echo-cardiogram and make sure it’s either not getting worse, or is getting better. Thank God there was no mention of surgery or even treatment, cause I probably would have passed out! As it was, Ryan did awesome! She was so good while the tech did the ultrasound, hardly fussed at all. And on the way home, I stopped to get a nursing bra — 34H!! OMG, I’m a porn star!

Trip to ER with RE…v. scary

2.1.2006
ER @ Childrens, my milk came in.
So, we all went to my post-partum care visit and all was well until the nurse checked Ryan’s heartbeat. She heard a heart murmur and pretty much sent us straight over to the pediatrician. The ped heard it too, and sent us straight over to Children’s hospital in Seattle. By now I’m completely freaking out and panicking that I have to take my three day old baby to the freaking ER at Childrens. Once we got there (we stopped to pick up my mom and some more stuff, we only thought we’d be out 2 hours), she was checked out by 2 nurses, 3 doctors, a cardiologist and a resident. All agreed that she definitely has a heart murmur and the cardiologist wants to check it out further. So tomorrow we are taking her back to Children’s so they can do an ultrasound on her heart and make sure it’s something that won’t require surgery. They think it’s something that will close up on it’s own, but to be safe, they want a closer look. I have calmed down a ton, but I am completely freaking out still. I don’t want to put the baby down at all (poor daddy has barely gotten to hold her today). I just can’t believe that there is something wrong with my perfect little thing. I feel like I’ve done everything so “right” that it’s not fair that something should go wrong with her…it’s a terrible feeling. I’ve spent most of the day crying and I finally crashed out and slept for like 3 hours (the most I’ve gotten all day). Not to mention, on top of all this, my milk came in today, so poor Ryan’s whole feeding thing has been all crazy, plus all the car trips and the poking and prodding and undressing at all the dr.s…long day.

Mesh Panties are Sexy


1.29.2006
Courtesy of Evergreen hospitals wifi and my trying to stay awake for another half an hour to feed Ryan again, here is it!

As a few of you may know, I was chosen to host a “passion party” Saturday night. If you don’t know what this is, it’s basically a tupperware party for sex toys. So it’s in the middle of this fun and frolic that I get up to go pee…no biggie right? But I go to sit back down and *gush*. Oops, what’s that? So I rush back to the bathroom, thinking, have I just peed my pants? I changed into a pad and went back out. I announced to my 10 friends sitting in my living room that I thought my water had broken. So of course, everyone flips out and starts rushing around! Total mayhem! In any case, we finish the party out, cause everyone was just about to order their goodies anyway, and I still had to get Michael home from work and all that.

So, I spent another hour and a half at home, finishing up the party, doing dishes, dealing with the dog, all the while, just cramps coming every 10 minutes. I’m thinking, hey, no big deal!! We finally get out of the house, me, Michael, my best friend Alyssa, Julie and Mary. It’s an entourage! Which is what they called us when we arrived at the maternity center! But Mary and Julie were at the party and I didn’t have the heart to tell them not to come on down. Plus, I figured it would be a while and I’d need the company and so would Michael. This is about 9:45.

By the time I’m in the room and all dressed in my SEXY mesh panties and HUGE diaper pad, I’m having pretty good size contractions and I’m at a good solid 4cm. Still irregular though. 20 minutes later, they’re getting more regular and much much closer together. By 11, they are nearly on top of one another, and terrifying. I couldn’t talk, breathe, walk, even move…I just cried. So, despite my original plan for a drug free birth, I begged for an epidural. Maybe begged isn’t right, I think I demanded with a few expletives. But whatever. I wanted to kiss the anesthesiologist. I LOVE that man. Got the epi at midnight and by 12:15, I was laughing and joking with my friends, and having a great time! We were joking around with the night nurses, watching David Hasselhofs newest video ( And I was dialated to 7! Rock on!).

I hung out, slept and just generally chilled all night, all the while, progessing slowly. At one point, the labor nurse, Kathy, (my other new friend) gave me some pitocin to help make the contractions a little more meaningful. I was stuck at 9 cm for about 2 hours, but to tell you the truth, I didn’t really care. I got to rest and sleep and store up my energy.

By about 5:30, we started pushing!! At 5:35, I had to stop pushing so she could get my doc in there. By the time my doctor arrived, I’d been pushing for about 20 minutes and the baby’s head was crowing. Let me tell you, epi or no epi, you’re gonna feel that! Ouch, they call it the “ring of fire” for good reason. (And having just seen Walk the Line, all I can hear is the Johnny Cash song) After 45 minutes of pushing, Ryan came out!! She was so desperate to accesorize, that she helped herself to that pretty necklace known as her cord, and came out a bit blue at first. But as soon as they got her a shot of oxygen, she was bright pink and screaming!

Michael and I just kept looking at each other saying that we can’t believe she’s ours, that we made that, or that we actually did it. It’s the most amazing feeling in the world. I love Ryan more than anything, and watching Michael give her eskimo kisses, I love him a VERY close second.